If you have a sedan, please, please, figure out that it is in fact a sedan, especially when it is not a Cadillac or similar, and that it is NOT a school bus. Therefore, it should NOT take you ten attempts to park the damn thing.
If I am merging onto the tollway from the on-ramp, you have no choice but to let me in. I am not trying to get ahead of you or one-up you, I am trying to go home. So really, there's no reason for you to speed up and not let me in except for the fact that you are a dumbass, a fuckwit, and a shithead.
People in grocery stores in the main aisles, and those would be the aisles that run the length of the store and cut across the regular aisles and have no product description signs, have the right of way. If you are in a product aisle then you need to yield to everyone else. Do not tear out of these aisles like you own the store. Actually, no, I take that back, please act like you own the store when you visit it. Remember that we are all your customers and you need to show better customer service.
If you are getting married soon, please realize that your friends and family will most likely not be as excited as you. They do have their own lives after all. If one can not afford to get a bridesmaid dress, and shoes, and jewelry, and travel to Timbuckfuckingtoo, and buy you a really expensive present, and pay for an expensive brunch the next morning, and pay for therapy for themselves, then do not be offended. Please get over yourself. Did you feel that? Of course not, because there was no gravitational change in the Earth, it doesn't, after all, revolve around you.
PROLLY IS NOT A FUCKING WORD!!!!!!!!! IT'S PROBABLY P-R-O-B-A-B-L-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a work related one. If you send an email in asking me to update something in the database something more descriptive than "Please change the link to the ABC document" would probably be helpful. I mean seriously, there are thousands of links and you really need to give me, oh, what is it they call it, a location? I'm not psychic and I can't take a screen shot of what you're looking at when you send me that email.
If you have an SUV what is the point of getting an environmental license plate? I mean seriously, are you trying to do penance? Do you honestly think that whatever piddly amount extra you pay for that plate is going to combat the amount of gas you waste by driving that thing?
On a related note: To the bitch in the SUV in the fast lane yesterday talking on her cell phone: GET OFF THE GOD DAMN PHONE AND DRIVE YOU STUPID WHORE!! Jeezus! I want to GO HOME. I do not care if you are talking to Mr. Hubby about Timmy's soccer practice. Pull off the fucking road if you need to talk, or even into the right lane, but for the love of all that is holy get out of the fucking fast lane!
Doorways are not social gathering spots. I don't care if it's cold outside and you need a cigarette and the doorway will provide just that little bit of warmth when it's opened. If you're worried about being cold, shove the cigarette up your ass. (No offense to my readers who smoke, but I know you and I know that you're not annoying, if you were, you wouldn't be my friend and thus, wouldn't be reading this, right?) ☺
I hate pop-up ads. But what I hate more is pop-up ads with no content. If you have to annoy me, at least have a reason for it, OK?
Can I please have an IPASS lane on on-ramps so I don't have to stop to pay tolls? That's why I signed up for the service. Not so I could get behind someone on their first day ever of riding the tollway needs to count out all their change in pennies. I've paid for tolls in pennies before, but for crying out loud, I count it out BEFORE I get in my car.
