Fah-RIIIIII-Day

First off, I survived last night. Actually, I didn't feel nearly as bad as I thought I was going to. Really, other than having a dehydration headache, and being a little tired, I felt good. And this morning I woke up with no lower back pain. I officially declare exercise as the new miracle drug. That gets it for me. Weight loss? Who cares. Flexibility? Ppfft. No more lower back pain? SIGN ME FRIGGIN UP NOW!!! OK I didn't sign up, b/c Ren and I are going to her Curves on Tuesday. I want to check out both places and see which I like best. I will let you know later.

I heard on the radio this morning that it is warmer on Mars today than it is here in Chicago. Which, as of printing time is -10F. Friggin cold.

And now for the Friday Five, which I haven't done in ages.
You have just won one million dollars: Woo-Hoo!

1. Who do you call first? TNG
   
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself? A new car
   
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else? My friend Christine has been very generous over the years, so I'd probably offer to pay off her student loans. And buy all of my future bridal party their bridesmaids gowns. :)
   
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom? Yes, to the local animal shelter
   
5. Do you invest any? If so, how? Of course, a million dollars won't last forever. I don't know how, I'd ask my dad, he knows about that stuff.
   

And a one and a two...

Tonight after work I am going to a -gasp- gym. Yes, that's right boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, I'm going to a gym. Sort of, anyway. Y'all have probably heard of Curves, right? Well I'm going to check them out on Tuesday with a friend of mine. Tonight however, I am going to check out Ladies Workout Express which is similar, I've been told. Now here's the kicker. I don't think I've worked out since, oh, high school. Phys Ed here in Illinois is mandatory for all 12 years. I've gotten lazy since then, you could say. So, if anyone wants to start trading bets on whether or not I'll have a aneurysm before the night is over, better make them now.

It's Friggin Cold

Just in case you don't believe me, here's a screen shot of the Weather Bug I have on my computer:

Now do you believe me? Look at that. It's going to be FIVE degrees today. That's friggin cold. For those UK readers that's a balmy -15C. Currently it is -2F/-19C. C-O-L-D.

Have I mentioned that TNG and I are planning on moving to Las Vegas after we get married? Weather in LV today will be a high of 60F/15C. Now in Celsius, that doesn't seem to warm, to me at least. But I could live with 60 degrees. Oh well at least it's not snowing.

Show of Hands

Who cares who the DOOL serial killer is? Ren I got you down, you don't need to vote again.

YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO IF...

If you aren't from the Chicago area, you won't find some of these funny. Too bad for you. Comments from me in italics.

• The "living room" is called the "front room."
  
• You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do. Ok it's French, if you pronounce the "s" then you're an idiot
  
• You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away
  
• You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines." This however, is not French
  
• You go to visit friends or family down south and laugh when they complain about the traffic. I laugh at people in LA, that is not traffic. Wussies
  
• You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a Sox fan. It's not legal.
  
• It's "Kitty corner," not "Katty corner".
  
• You know the difference between The Loop and Downtown
  
• You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as "pie". Pie is for Baker's Square
  
• You own celery salt OK I actually don't own any, but I don't like it either
  
• You understand that the primary is the official local election.
  
• You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day
  
• Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
  
• Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun.
  
• You carry jumper cables in your car. You'd be stupid if you didn't
  
• You drink "pop."
  
• You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roads.
  
• You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy, Eisenhower, Dan Ryan and the Edens but you call the interstates "expressways."
  
• You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern or Central Illinois."
  
• You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake."
  
• You refer to Chicago as "The City."
  
• "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in January 1986.
  
• You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.
  
• You buy "The Trib" and not the Tribune.
  
• You know that, despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the waterfront.
  
• You think 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car. I would kill for 45 degrees right about now
  
• You picnic or ride your bike in the "forest preserve."
  
• You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN. It was tears of joy the day McCaskey got fired
  
• You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog.
  
• You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.
  
• You know why they call Chicago "The Windy City."
  
• You understand what "lake-effect" means.
  
• You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know where they end.
  
• You have ridden the "L."
  
• You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847, 630, 773, 708, 312, & 815.
  
• You have at some time in your life, used your furniture or a friend's body to guard your parking spot in winter. Cleared parking spots are sacred in Chicago. Woe be the person who steals one.
  
• You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a "side." Example:"West Side," "South Side" or "North Side."
  
  AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST .......
  
  
• You know the phone number to Empire Carpet! 800-588-2300 and you have to SING it
  

Here's my arm, can I give you my leg later?

The. Car. Is. Back. Seems to be running good. Started up, no lights came on during the ride home. Got gas. Got windshield wiper fluid. Got milk. Milk is totally unrelated, it's just cheaper at the gas station I stopped at. So I guess this means I'm schlepping my happy ass to work tomorrow. Bummer.

Short Attention Span Blogging

• My car still isn't ready. They don't have the part yet. Service folks say that they are ticked b/c the delivery folks haven't brought it yet and they ordered it on Saturday. I don't mind my unexpected time off from work, but I can't take much longer.
  
• Oscar nominations were made this morning. Sadly, I did not get nominated for one. However, I am a finalist for a Bloggie, and you have until this Friday at 10PM Eastern time (that's 9PM to those of us here in the Midwest) to vote for me, and I'm certain you all want to.
  
• Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance for the Playstation 2 is addictive.
  
• It's 12 degrees outside and there's got to be at least 2 or 3 inches of snow on the ground. Probably a good thing I couldn't go to work today.
  
• What the hell is the HTML or CSS code to make a strikethrough? I don't know. :( Someone tell me.
  
• Speaking of someone telling me something and Baldur's Gate, if anyone has any tips for those annoying sinking pedestals in the Thieves Guild, please let me know, thanks.

Damn it

I just realized that tomorrow is Bagel day, and perhaps one of the last at work, and I won't be there. Curses.

School for the Gifted

So I'm at home. Bored witless. I always think it's better to be at home than to be at work, but I'm bored at home. Scratch that, it's still better to be at home. So long as I'm getting paid, at least. :) Looks like I'll be home again tomorrow because my car won't be ready til tomorrow afternoon. Thank the Gods for Playstation 2. I want to play this new game that TNG and I got for Christmas. I haven't yet opened it yet and I've been trying to get that little thing that says "Pull" started so I can get all this plastic wrap and "Security Device Enclosed" sticker off. Well dumb ass me doesn't realize that there's a plastic covering over that sticker. So I'm trying to get through the covering to the sticker instead of removing the plastic first. One day off of work and my brain is already starting to atrophy. Duh.

Show Me The Money

Right now I have Repo Man: Stealing for a Living on TLC. All I have to say is the the Gods I am out of the days when bill collectors were calling me every other day. However, this does remind me of something that happened the other day. The mortgage lady said that I had 2 things on my credit report that were showing as unpaid, which I know for a fact, were. So I call the number listed. I talk to a manager.
"I'm 99.9% certain that I've paid this, I just want to make sure."
"Yes, I'm showing that you did indeed pay this bill."
"OK, it's coming up on my credit report as not being paid, do you know why that is?"
"Well, ma'am, WE have it shown as paid. So if it's coming up as unpaid, then SOMEONE ELSE is reporting it. Not us. You need to talk to them. There's nothing I can do for you." OK snot-bitch. Now maybe it doesn't sound snotty here but she was, believe me, tone of voice and all that. I should have said, "Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!" That would have been funny. I need to write that down.

Moral of the story: Bill collectors are assholes no matter if you owe them money or not.

Moving to Warmer Climes Seems Sensible, Appealing to 27 Year Old Motorist

As I was coming home last night my car died. I had been having a problem with the battery light, it kept coming on. Two weeks ago it came on and my dad cleaned the connectors to the battery and said I should get it looked at. Well stupid me didn't like I should have. It came on again yesterday morning but ran ok. Last night, on the way home, it came on again when I turned the car on but seemed to be running all right as I left the parking lot. I turned left onto Half Day Road and got into the left turn lane to get on the interstate. That's about as far as I got. The radio crapped out and the car died. And of course my cell battery was low!!! I was able to call my brother. My dad is apparently up in WI on another fishing trip. He said he'd come get me if I needed a tow but since he didn't have a cell phone it was pointless for him to come down if the tow came in the mean time and he didn't know where I was. I told him I'd call when the tow showed up. So I called AAA. That was 4:45. They said a truck should be there in 45 minutes or less. 45 minutes go by. My brother calls me. No sign of the truck yet. I tell him I'm calling AAA back. This was about 5:40. (meanwhile I'm freezing my keister off in the car) AAA says, oh they are on their way, they should be there by 6:10. Great I get to freeze for another half hour. Ten minutes later a Lake County Sheriff pulled up. I was never happier to see a cop. My hazards weren't working, people were speeding over the bridge and it was dark. With my black car I was really worried about getting rear-ended. So was he. He called a different tow for me (which actually showed up) and had me cancel AAA. He said the company AAA called was in Chicago. (Turns out one w/ a similar name is, but not that one, which is on the far side of Wheeling and w/ last night's traffic, might as well have been on the far side of the moon) So he calls a tow truck for me and they show up in about 20 minutes. They towed the car to a garage not far away and that's where it is now.

I was supposed to call the garage after 7 this morning to get the car fixed. I didn't get a chance. They called me at almost 7 on the dot. He said he'd have a look at it and let me know the problem. About an hour later he called back. I need a new battery and an alternator, which is just what I expected. If he can order the part today, I can have the car back on Monday. Otherwise I might not get it til Tuesday. So it looks like I may be getting a 3-day weekend. Unfortunately, it's going to cost me about $550, with the part, labor, tax, and the tow. When I called AAA back to cancel the tow I asked if I could get reimbursed since their truck took forever and never showed. At first she said no, and then I tried to explain to her how my life was in danger sitting on that overpass. She's going to send me a form. Nice. I think I might have tow insurance on my car so maybe they will cover it. So I may only be out $450. Whoo.

Happy Birthday!!!

Today is my friend, Christine's birthday. So even though she never reads this and then complains that I never tell her anything (hello it's all on the blog) I would like to wish her a happy birthday. And remind her that she is now closer to 30 than to 20. Because I know that bothers her. :) Bwhahahahaha

Let me know if you don't receive this

If you can see this than you are doing better than I am. I can't view my blog to save my life. Must be all the traffic I'm generating. Yep, that's probably it, I've grown so popular that the traffic to my site is overwhelming the BlogSpot servers.

Holy Shit

I had 289 hits on Tuesday alone. And I haven't mentioned Angelina Jolie's nipples in I don't know how long. Now I'm really under pressure to write something interesting. Hmmm. Well, as I was looking at my stats tonight, I saw that someone found me by Googling "how do you make the gnomes real in [sic] the sims making magic?" You know, I would like to know this myself and if anyone has figured it out, please tell me. I think you have to enchant them but I don't know how to do that yet. I'm just excited that I've got a beanstalk growing finally. Now if only my dragons didn't keep running away...

Laugh of the Day

Stupid people used to really piss me off. Now they just make me laugh. This chick comes into the office last night wanting to take a class. Now, keep in mind, classes started on Tuesday. She moved to Lake County in August, but hasn't bothered to update her driver's license or voter registration since then so she has no proof that she lives here. That wouldn't stop her from taking classes but it would require her to pay a heck of a lot more. So not only is she upset that she can't have her address in Lake County to get the in district rates, but she also doesn't have an application on file yet, which takes a day or two to enter, and at this point I'm not making any special concessions for her, and she can't enroll in a class until we have her in the system. Now, and I'm sure you'll understand how this works, it is somehow the college's fault that this chicky hasn't updated her DL or voter's registration, and that she's waited until beyond the last minute to even register for classes. Newsflash: The college has been there since 1967, we don't keep it a secret, so you really don't have an excuse for waiting until the week of classes start to register. There was even no guarantee that the class she wanted even had space in it. Now, you know what, I could have checked that for her. Heck, I could have even asked someone to expedite her application. But she was being a bitch. And as she walked out she even said, "Oh, screw you all!" Well, lady, fuck you too, and the high horse you rode in on. Here's another tip for you: If you're nice to people, they will try and help you out. But since you were being a cunt, I didn't go out of my way to help you. Especially since today is the last day of my assignment. I was in a good mood, and had you been pleasant and not upset, I could have helped you out. But you were a total asshat, so too fucking bad. Maybe you'll learn some manners. Have a nice day. :)

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

OK, hasn't gone that far as yet. However, in the spirit of self-promotion I would like to make it known that Sabrina Faire has been nominated for a 2004 Bloggie Award for Best Tag Line!!!!!!!!! WHOOO HOOO!!!

And in case you've forgotten what my tag line is, it's "All The Fun of a Saucy Wench, None of the Overpriced Beer" Am I cool or what? So, if you want to vote for me, and others (in other categories of course) please visit the 2004 Bloggie Awards site and vote before 10PM EST January 31.

Go, Now!!!

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Berry:: Crunch
   
2. Fiendish:: No habla
   
3. Bar:: Tab
   
4. Frank:: N. Furter
   
5. Bend:: Your Will
   
6. Fanatic:: Religious
   
7. Belch:: Bar
   
8. Flagrant:: Misuse of Power
   
9. Burden:: of Proof
   
10. Flimsy:: Plastic
    

And she nails the landing!!!

So tonight I was meeting a friend for dinner. I was running late and was rushing. This is not a good thing if you are not a graceful person. Even if it were high noon at midsummer with not a cloud in the sky and on flat ground, this is a poor idea. If you are a klutz, you know what I mean. So I'm rushing into the restaurant, really just walking briskly. When I trip over my own two feet, my ankle gives out, and I take a header on to the sidewalk. Fucking French judge only gave me a 7, the bitch. So I twisted my left ankle, scraped and banged my right knee, and scraped both palms. Oh well. It's not the first time I've fallen face first in front of people, it certainly won't be the last. Just got to get up, dust yourself off, and try to laugh at it later. Looking back, it's kind of funny. Except my hands still hurt...

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

The Update

I did in fact hear from the mortgage lady. Of course shortly after I came back from the 'lu, as I predicted. :) Anyway, the gal said that my credit isn't so bad as I thought, and that TNG's credit is fabulous. Anyway, bottom line, yeah, we could get a loan, though I don't think we're quite ready for it, we want to save up some cash yet for the downpayment. So if anyone wants to contribute to the downpayment fund, the Pay Pal button is over to the left. And thus I have fulfilled my cyber-begging quota for the day.

Ring, damn you, ring

So I'm waiting for a phone call. TNG and I would like to buy a house - eventually. So to see just what we can afford and how much we should be saving for a downpayment, I contacted a mortgage broker. Via email seemed very nice, gave her all the email, etc etc etc. So Tuesday afternoon she emails me and says she'll try to call me tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. No problem. Didn't hear from her. Later in the day (Wednesday still) she emails me again and says she'll call me between 3:30 and 4:00. I told her that would be OK but that I have to leave right at 4 so I can get to the 2nd job in time. Well she did call - at 3:57. So she says she'll call me this morning, around 8:15. OK, no problem, I had a 8:30 meeting, but that should be enough time, right? No call. Go to meeting. Come back. Voice Mail left at 8:51: "Oh, you're in a meeting now, I'll try calling you back between 9:30 and 10". It is now 10:42. Haven't heard a thing back from her. Message light isn't blinking. Nothing. I have to pee. I KNOW the second I step away from this desk, she'll call. Grrr. I think I'm just going to go to the bathroom, then I'm going to call her.

Short Attention Span Blogging

I stole this idea from De.

• On the side of my box of Cat Box Deodorizer it says "Safe for use around pets" Duh.
  
• Why do vacuum cleaners have lights on them?
  
• I still don't understand why, last night on CSI: Miami, the father moved his daughter's body and then paid the hauler for it so he could put it back in his house
  
• Lotus Notes is evil
  
• One day Bush is talking about letting illegal aliens the next he's talking about going to Mars. Anyone else think he's confused?
  
• Awwww, KITTIES!!!!!!
  

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Mitchell:: Ford
   
2. Mercury:: Lincoln
   
3. Cycle:: Shorts
   
4. Engagement:: Some day
   
5. Alternative:: Rock
   
6. Gang:: 'Sta
   
7. Emotional:: Dependency
   
8. Skinny:: Sh'right
   
9. Hypochondriac:: Mad Cow, Ebola, SARS...
   
10. Insecure:: Sometimes
    

The Tangle Fairies

Tuesday evening TNG came over to help me take down my Christmas Tree. Something about Three Kings Day or Day of the Epiphany or 12th Night. Jesus Christ how many freaking names do Christians need for one little day? Why not call it "Day of taking down the cat's giant playtoy" or similar. So anyway, the Christmas tree has been taken down and all the ornaments put away. Oh well now I don't have to lean back so much when I'm at the computer to see the TV. Silver lining in everything, right? As I was putting away the Christmas lights, I was very careful to wrap them just so to prevent them from getting tangled and making next Christmas easier, so far as decorating goes. And then the thought occurred to me. Every year I do this. Every year I am careful with the lights so that they don't get tangled. And every year when I pull them back out of the box they are tangled!!! WTF? I've tried different methods of putting away the lights so it can't possibly be me. But yet, I am willing to bet that come Friday, November 26, 2004 that those bloody things will be all tangled and that I'll spend half the day untangling them. Grrr. Then I had my own Epiphany, which is probably where the one name originally came from. These lights do not get tangled due to anything I do or do not do. These lights get tangled because of mischievous little Tangle Fairies that come in the spring and summer months, sneak into your attics, basements, or garages, and, you guessed it, tangle your Christmas lights.

Now, you may be wondering, "Are these the same creatures responsible for misplacing one sock?" No, they are not the same. One sock out of a pair goes missing due to a vortex created by the spinning motion of the dryer. This vortex opens to another dimension, and one sock is sucked into it, forever separating the pair. Also not to be confused with Underpants Gnomes which come at 3AM to steal underpants, under their business model, Step 1, Steal Underpants, Step 3, Profit.

Any further questions?

Swearing like a South Park Episode

I was going to blog about something witty and cute and funny. Or at least something that I felt fell into those categories. But I'm not going to. I'm going to bitch about my job. I don't know if it's PMS or what but I'm in a really pissy mood when it comes to my job this morning. First off, I was "volunteered" to help test a search function of a new site we're putting together. I don't know a damn thing about the site or about the department the site is for. So How am I supposed to search for things relevant? Secondly I had to photocopy a bunch of stuff for a meeting this morning. Photocopying is no problem, that's part of my job. But you know what? So is creating the fucking documents that they had me photocopying. I mean Christ on a Fucking Bloody Cracker what the mother-fuck am I here for? To just sit around and take up space? Because that's really what I feel like I'm doing. I've told my boss and the people I work with time and time a-fucking-gain that I LIKE to do that sort of thing. But do they give it to me? No. When I ask if they need help with anything do they? No. No work for me. Just sit there Sabrina and wait til we have something for you to do like take an envelope to the mail room. You can handle that.

But it's a job right? It pays the bills right? So I should just get over my bullshit whining and be happy that I've got a regular paycheck. Fuck. Can you tell I'm pissed off by the whole situation? What gave it away? The swearing? Yeah I'm like a god-damn sailor when I'm pissed. And I'm pissed.

BTW no form of "fuck" comes up in my spellchecker, neither does bullshit.

The Sunday Meme

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Vintage:: Wine
   
2. Longing:: Yearning
   
3. Specimen:: Scientific
   
4. Mock:: You dare, me?
   
5. Shit:: & Giggles
   
6. Friday:: HUZZAH
   
7. Cruel:: Intentions
   
8. Insufficient:: Memory
   
9. Pessimistic:: Optimistic
   
10. Grin:: and Bear it
    

Happy New Year ~or~ Yay! I can be the Pagan Hermit I've always wanted to be!!

Well I hope everyone had a good night last night. I know I never made it to bed!!! OK, well, truth be told I fell asleep on the couch at around 11:40. Oh well.

Before all that I installed the Sims Makin' Magic Expansion Pack that Christine got me for Christmas. Let me say, this is a pretty cool upgrade. Not only can you make magic, you can buy a dragon, and it comes with some pretty nifty furniture and wallpaper that just sings to my little tree-hugging magickal heart. You can also make some ingredients you need for your spells. Or baking items if you so choose. If you don't want or need to use them, you can sell them. Cha-Ching! Someone else also pointed out to me that you can have a Sim make Gnomes (yes, garden gnomes) or now Gargoyles all day and when their Mechanical skills get high enough, they sell for a pretty penny. So now, even if I didn't have the money cheat, I wouldn't need to work. And since I don't need to work, I don't need friends. It's not hard to make friends in the game, but it is annoying b/c if you go a couple of days w/o talking to them they get upset and they are no longer your friends. Talk about high maintenance. Screw 'em. I only really needed friends to get job promotions before but now that I don't need to work, I don't need to keep them! And I have two witchy sisters living together so they'll keep their social up! Whee!!! Ah, what I always wanted, two Witch Sim Sisters living in Hermitude. Life is good. Sim life at least. :)