Hello, My Name is Sabrina...

• Haven't blogged much. I blame it on The Sims. I got The Sims Double Deluxe and the Makin' Magic Expansion Pack for Christmas. This game, if you've ever played it, can be addictive. Think dollhouse combined with the Game of Life and put it on the computer. Viola, you've got The Sims. OK, so here's the deal if you've never played before. You create a Sim person or a whole family, and you live their life. You get them promoted, you get their skills up, maybe they get married, have a kid, etc etc etc. There are some drawbacks. Your Sims never grow up if you start them out as kids. (Something that will change in The Sims 2) And of course it's not 100% like real-life, THAT would be depressing. Sometimes real life would be better off like The Sims. Wouldn't it be great to enter a cheat code and never have to worry about money again???
  
• New Years Resolutions. Why do we do this? I don't know one person that's ever kept a resolution for more than the month of January. And seriously, I know full well I'm not going to keep up with them, so why bother? My friend, Christine, once made a resolution to never make another resolution. That one she's kept. Good work. She also gave up giving up things for Lent. I think she's going to Hell. Oh well. Beats sitting around all day on a cloud strumming a harp, right?
  
• New Year's Eve Plans. Not really much planned thus far. Christine and I may have dinner, though she wasn't feeling well yesterday, so if that doesn't pan out, I'll probably order pizza and, you guessed it, play some more Sims when I get home. Maybe I'll get to leave work early. Wouldn't that be nice?
  
• Well that's all I have for now folks. Maybe I'll come up with something wittier in the New Year. Here's to you and yours and don't forget, if you're going to drink and drive tonight, Drink Pepsi! Stay safe out there folks, and remember to have your pet spayed or neutered.

Happy Christmas, Harry

Well everyone, it's Christmas. If you didn't know. I'm sure that's big news to you and a total shock. However, if you prefer, Happy Sixth Day/Seventh Night of Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa Eve, or Happy Middle of the Week. Take your pick. I've already gotten some gifts, from the darling TNG. HIS gifts are still in the freaking mail and won't be here til the 29th. Grr. Guess we'll just have to celebrate twice. Darn. ;)

You know, when I was a kid, Christmas held this sort of magic. Was it getting the presents? I don't know. But Christmas morning we would wake up and there would miraculously be these presents from Santa. The night before it was impossible to sleep because we knew Santa was on his way but at the same time wouldn't come until after we went to sleep. And at my house, Santa didn't wrap presents. So we would come into the living room with all of these glorious presents displayed, and then not be able to touch them until mom and dad were ready to do the gift opening thing. Seriously, I think my parents were sadists. Even after I stopped believing in Santa (though part of me still does) :) Christmas was still special when I was a kid. I guess things have changed. You grow up, you have to fight the crowds, you start to wonder "Am I going to have enough to pay the phone bill this month?" and Christmas loses it's magic. Don't get me wrong, it's still fun. I still like giving and getting gifts and spending time with family and seeing decorations, and all that jazz. I guess I'm just waxing nostalgic on a lost magic of childhood. Sigh...

And now for something completely different.

So you want to know the update on my roommate. Well Monday morning I did go in to the police department, I filed a report, I brought it to my bank, and badda bing badda boom the whole thing was done in about a half hour. Very anti-climatic. I did talk to the ex-roommate and he of course denied knowing anything about it. Is he telling the truth? Lying? Who's to say? Bottom line, I'm getting my money back and if he did do anything, the account number has changed so he can't do anything again.

What is the latest on this? Did you file a report? Have you heard from him? Did you get your money back? Will Jessica stop drinking and sleeping with Benson? Answers to these questions and many others on the next episode of "Soap".`

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Exchange:: Stock
   
2. Parental Advisory:: Guidelines for morons who don't know how to be parents
   
3. Blowout:: Tires
   
4. Spider:: Man, Does whatever a spider can
   
5. Happy:: Don't Worry, Be
   
6. Intense:: Emotions
   
7. Corrupt:: Lake County Government
   
8. Got:: Catnip?
   
9. Crude:: Oil
   
10. Three:: Little Pigs
    

Update to below post

Grrrr. So I called Bank One right after my earlier post. They told me I needed to come in to a banking center. OK No problem. So I went to finish up my Christmas shopping and swung by the bank on my way home. Not only do I have to open a new checking account (though I get free checks that start with a higher number) but we had to figure out which checks hadn't cleared yet, fill out and sign forms, yadda yadda yadda. Big pain in the ass. Just like my former roommate. I also have to fill out a fraud form and go to the Police department and fill out a report. Fun. I don't want to get Jason in trouble but this isn't the first time he's put me in this situation. It's no longer a slap on the wrist don't do it again type deal. To get my money back, I have to fill out a police report. If I don't, I'm out $199. Unless I can extort it out of him, LOL. Grrr. I don't even know how to get a hold of him, really. Mostly all I can do is wait for him to call me. Grrr.

The simple fact is that I've tried and tried to help him out in everything imaginable and he's done nothing but make me wish I hadn't bothered. No good deed goes unpunished eh? Grrr.

Your Options: [] Scream [] Cry [] Pull Hair Out [] All of the above

It. Is. Christmas. I was going to finish my Christmas shopping today. Before I did that, I figured, "Well, let's balance the checkbook, just in case." Uh, it's a good thing I did. A check for $199 that I did not write posted on the 17th. It's one of those electronic checks that's authorized by the account holder. The problem? I didn't authorize it. Nope. I'm sitting here looking at a print out of the canceled check. (Because Bank One has scanned images of our checks online) And guess who's name is on the check. Not mine as the account holder. Oh no. Not me. Nope. Got any ideas? Oh, that would be my ex-roommate. Yep, hasn't lived here in 3 months. Now whether or not he "authorized" this I don't know, he's impossible to get a hold of. I'm sure he'll give me some sort of song and dance about how he didn't or didn't mean to and blah blah blah. I'm about to call Bank One to hopefully get this cleared up. LUCKILY things have been looking better financially lately or $199 might be a HUGE deal to me meaning that I couldn't pay bills or buy groceries or anything, let alone buy Christmas gifts. Grrrrr.

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Have you seen The Return of the King yet? I HIGHLY recommend it. It is GOOD. LOVED IT. Can't say enough good things about it. Sure some stuff had to get cut, but overall, it's faithful to the books and ends the story very nicely. No, I didn't go to the midnight showing, I went yesterday, during the day.

A note though: THIS IS NOT A KIDS MOVIE. This movie is rated PG-13, that means that really, no one under 13 should be seeing this movie without a parent. It's really not a movie to take a baby or a toddler to. It's loud, and in some scenes, bloody. If you're stupid enough to take your child to this movie, don't come crying to me because it was nothing like the cartoon. Duh. Moron. Let's hope your kids end up being smarter than you.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Warning:: Tornado
   
2. Aspirations:: High
   
3. Starvation:: Tragic
   
4. Lid:: Tupperware
   
5. Sketch:: Artist
   
6. Interrogate:: Law & Order
   
7. Credit:: Card
   
8. Scotch:: Christine
   
9. Confused:: and Dazed
   
10. Paris:: April in
    

Tips for a Successful Windshield Wiper Career

If you are the Passenger-Side wiper

• Work perfectly at all times.

If you are the Driver-Side wiper

• Work perfectly during mild rain
  
• If the weather is just "misting" or raining only lightly, only work sporadically. Ideally, you want the rain to dry on the windshield before you get a chance to wipe it off
  
• If the weather has turned to heavy rain or snowfall, again, sporadic work is best. Snow makes this task easier by allowing you to get ice caught under your blade. This is ideal. Make sure the ice is right in the middle of the driver's line of sight.
  
• During mild snow or rain, make sure you work perfectly on the right, upper, bottom, and left side of your wiping area. DO NOT under any circumstances wipe in the driver's line of sight.
  
• To tell the truth, if you do not wipe within the driver's line of sight in general, you'll be successful.
  

How Well Do YOU Know Sabrina????

Winner will get the gratification of knowing how to guess. :)

Take the Friend Test.

Ccccooollldddd

OK I so should not complain, but it is freaking cold outside. My little weather bug says it is 20 degrees right now. That's freaking chilly! Yeah, I know, it could be worse. There could be a wind chill, it could be snowing, etc etc etc. 20 degrees in December in Chicago is really no big deal. But still, I may actually have to warm the car up before leaving tonight.

The Magic Number...

Is yes, 27. DING DING DING DING DING

My Birthday ~ Today!!!

HUZZAH! Yep, today is my birthday. Whadja get me? Anyone want to guess my age? Anyone? Anyone? No fair if you already know. Here's a hint: John Lennon was shot on my fourth birthday. Hmmm. Other famous, but admittedly, not as important, people who share my birthday:

Dominic Monaghan (who was born the same year even) - Merry from Lord of the Rings
Jim Morrison
John Malkovich
Sammy Davis Jr.
Sinead OConner
Teri Hatcher
Kim Basinger
David Carradine
Mary Queen of Scots

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Blizzard:: Watch
   
2. J:: Renee's Fiance
   
3. Control:: Remote
   
4. Blood:: Transfusion
   
5. Mysterious:: Circumstances
   
6. Annoying:: SUV driving soccer moms
   
7. Throat:: Deep
   
8. Condom:: Breakage
   
9. Search:: Google
   
10. Heartfelt:: Apology
    

How to "Cat-Proof" Your Christmas Tree

While searching the internet for legitimate measures to cat-proof this year's tree, I came across this not-so helpful, but funny, method.

1. Buy a cardboard box big enough to hold the tree. Paint it red and yellow. Paste pictures of cats playing with toys on the box. Write phrases on the box like: "Giant very expensive cat toy." "Your cat will LOVE it!" "No cat can resist!" "Hours and hours of fun!" "Only $99,999,999.99!"
   
2. Bring the tree home inside the box, and round up your cats. Say, "look what mommy got you! A giant, really really expensive cat toy! You will go NUTS! I can't wait to see you play with this!"
   
3. Force the cats to watch you put up the tree and decorate it. If they drift off towards the cardboard box, bring them back to the tree and point at it while saying things like "you had better play with this thing, mommy spent a month's salary on it."
   
4. When the tree is decorated, wave some branches in their face and shout, "come on and play! Lookee here, the branches move, see? Kitty is supposed to swat at the branches and have lots and lots of fun! Hey, come back here! You come back here right now and play with this tree. See how much fun it is? HEY. I'M TALKING TO YOU. Get out of that box right now, mister. The box is NOT a toy. THIS is the toy."

If you do this with enough sincerity, your cats will avoid the tree like it was a Rottweiler. Of course, you'll be stuck with a giant ugly cardboard box in your living room all through the holidays, but it can always double as a buffet table.

News

Tiny fossil found to have the world's oldest known penis

Interesting. My favorite quote from this article is "The whole animal is amazing," Professor Siveter added. "We've got something we could only dream about before." Now I ask you, WHY are scientists dreaming about the size of a penis of an extinct animal? Repressed, are we?? Hmmm???

I actually do like my 2nd job...

OK here's the thing people. I don't care if you have a master's degree from another university, if you can't fill out a freaking form properly, how do you expect to get enrolled? And why is it that just b/c you say you have a master's degree that we're supposed to wave your prereq's without ever seeing any proof or a transcript? Anyone could say they have a master's degree to get them out of a math prerequisite. Oh, and another thing, teachers, if you are going to give a student permission to take a class he would normally not be able to, why don't you, oh I don't know, learn the freaking procedures by putting a comment on the kid's account? Instead of sending him back down to us and saying that you don't know what we're talking about. AND THEN when you don't even bother to figure it out, and you're going to use the OLD method of filling out a permit slip, why don't you fill the whole freaking thing out instead of just signing it? Do you not see the reason box? Nice that you're a teacher, clearly you know how to follow directions. Good job.

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Scrooge:: McDuck
   
2. Ribbon:: Twirling
   
3. Physical:: Olivia Newton-John
   
4. Income:: Bracket
   
5. Dream:: Book
   
6. Notebook:: Paper
   
7. Disney:: World
   
8. Combo:: Meal
   
9. Booty:: Licous
   
10. Skin:: Diving
    

Birthday Countdown

Oh I can't believe I forgot to blog about this. My birthday is ONE WEEK from today. You still have time to go get me something and have it shipped to my house. Email me for my address. Or just make it easy on yourself and use this PayPal button to send me some cash.

Thanksgiving Weekend Recap or How My Nana Almost Burned Down the House

Well I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I suppose I'm pretty lucky. My family gets along for the most part and we rarely have arguments. Now I'm not saying we could be a model the next "Very Brady Thanksgiving" but there's no throwing of food or anything either. My Nana, or grandmother for those of you not in the know, did try to burn the house down. Not on purpose though, bless her heart. I was in the kitchen mashing potatoes and she was washing some kind of dish. She had just checked on something in the oven and set the pot holder down on the stove top. Unfortunately a bit too close to the flame. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a yellow flame. Now, gas ranges have blue flames, so I knew something was up. I did a double take and sure enough, a corner of the pot holder was aflame. Nana was in front of the sink, and the bathroom was too far away. There's no fire extinguisher either. So I picked up the pot holder, dropped it to the floor, and stopped out the flame. Melted a bit of the linoleum and left a bit of a black mark but I figured it was a small price to pay, right? :)

I have to say that the best part of Thanksgiving though was watching the Green Bay Packers LOSE to the Detroit Lions. Now that is truly something to be thankful for.

Saturday TNG and I went and saw Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. I think it's the top runner for the Academy's longest movie name award for this year. It was a good movie overall. Especially if you don't like the French. Probably would have been better if it had been released in the spring, what with all the Frenchy-hating that was going on. That's died down a bit, but really, I think if we get an opportunity to poke fun at the French, we should probably take it. Hey do you know why the streets of Paris are lined with trees? That's so the German soldiers can walk in the shade. Buh-dump-dum. OK OK I KNOW France was an ally in the past and was at the time the movie was shot. And that England wasn't our favorite place. But things have changed, so we can root for Mother England now, can't we?

I have to comment on this. Every single stinking year Lexus has their "December to Remember" event commercials that show rich people getting cars as gifts for Christmas. Commercials for rich people to give them creative ideas on how to present the latest SUV as a gift to their loved one. Why not show actual, real-life rich people driving their Lexuses (Lexi?) around in real situations. Like the North Shore soccer mom bitch plowing through a parking lot, on her cell phone, drinking her half-caf, double-mocha whatever from Starbucks, and totally oblivious to anyone around her. Like the woman who was trying to turn into the parking lot last week as I was leaving. I was all the way on the right, and didn't know she wanted to turn. She didn't have a turn signal on, how was I to know that her SUV had the turning radius of a 16-wheeler, and she needed me to move before she could pull into Whole Foods to buy some sort of organic over-priced crap? Grr. Breathe in, breathe out, out with hate, in with love. Or is it the other way around?